‘It’s my day, not your husbands’: Bride Arranges a Wedding Venue Without Wheelchair Accessibility, Making it Impossible For Her Sister’s Husband to Come, Resulting in Family Dispute

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 16, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies of the internet. A sibling relationship has so many pros to it; it could be your best friend in life, your partner in crime, and someone to turn to in times of need. The bond between sisters is an important and magical one. Over time, you both grow up, get older, and live separate lives. You get married, and suddenly your context for this person is absorbed in someone else's life. It's not always easy, but it has to be manageable. 

What happens if you don't fancy your sister's husband? Or if you feel like he's a burden of some kind? It can definitely put a strain on the relationship. Not to mention that women tend to get a little heated when it comes time for their wedding. Ever heard of bridezilla? Yeah, it's not pretty. Something changes in a woman when it comes to her wedding day.

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 3 days ago Direct-Armadillo-770 AITAH if I don't go to my sister's wedding because she is excluding my husband?
    via u/Direct-Armadillo-770
  • 02
    I (F, 36) have been married to my husband Brad (M, 40) for the last 6 years. I have a daughter ( F,10) from a previous relationship (we were engaged when he abandoned me when I was pregnant to be with his coworker and eventually disappeared). Brad loves and adores my daughter and my daughter loves him so much . I'm currently
    via u/Direct-Armadillo-770
  • 03
    pregnant with our first baby ( my second baby). Brad is a paraplegic. He was in a car accident when he was 21. He has since his accident went back to school and currently works as university prof. He is super independent and possibly the best man I could ever married. My sister is getting married and today she announced that the
    via u/Direct-Armadillo-770
  • 04
    venue she picked is a heritage building. I told her then it won't be wheelchair accessible... she rolled her eyes and said "the world doesn't revolves around Brad, it's not his day! It's mine ". I said I understand but I'm not leaving him behind then. She started screaming that I'm trying to steal attention because everyone will ask where is bride's
    via u/Direct-Armadillo-770
  • 05
    sister. Her fiancé suggested having the ceremony at the heritage building but have the reception at another venue that way Brad can join us. My sister said no. I talked to Brad, he thinks | should go and he and my daughter can have daddy /daughter date and he will take care of her (it's a child free
    via u/Direct-Armadillo-770
  • 06
    wedding and we were initially going to ask Brad's mom to watch my daughter). He thinks it's not a big deal and I should just go and enjoy the wedding. I feel very bad and don't want to go but my sister will be so upset. AITAH if I don't go to my sister's wedding because she is excluding my husband?
    via u/Direct-Armadillo-770
  • 07
    MandiLandi • 3d ago NTA It's well within her rights to have her wedding wherever she wants. It's also within your rights to decline her invitation because you don't want to exclude your husband. That her fiance was willing to change
    via u/MandiLandi
  • 08
    venues for the reception but she refused is what makes her the ah. If she cared about your attendance, that would be a great way of having the best of both worlds.
    via u/MandiLandi
  • 09
    Heavy-Quail-7295 ⚫3d ago NTA I probably wouldn't go. Your daughter and your husband are excluded...ok. Just make it all 3 of you excluded.
    via u/Heavy-Quail-7295
  • 10
    And while I agree she gets to choose where she gets married, her comments are awful. Nobody said anything revolved around Brad. She sounds like a crappy person.
    via u/Heavy-Quail-7295
  • 11
    Healthy_Coast • 3d ago NTA. It's very telling that her response to you not going is "what will people think?" instead of that she wants you to be there because you're her sister. I personally would not go, especially as she also turned down her partners suggestion to make
    via u/Healthy_Coast
  • 12
    partners suggestion to make the reception accessible. Is it not his wedding too?
    via u/Healthy_Coast
  • 13
    Still_Actuator_8316 • 3d ago Do what feels right to you. I can see you love your husband very much. And you have every right to be mad that your sister wants to exclude him.
    via u/Still_Actuator_8316
  • 14
    And serious. How hard is it to rent a temporary ramp to be put in place so he can go. But since I don't know the stair situation I can give a pass about that. But there are options
    via u/Still_Actuator_8316
  • 15
    b3mark 3d ago NTA. • "Oh, honey, look at it this way. Now the entire day can be about you, pumpkin. You don't have to edit my husband and me out of your wedding pictures. After all, if you're afraid of a man in a wheelchair taking away your
    via u/b3mark
  • 16
    spotlight, I can't imagine how bad you'd feel about people asking me, your sister, about why my husband isn't there. Or how my pregnancy is going"
    via u/b3mark
  • 17
    "Hope you get over yourself before you send invites out for your next one! TTYL sweetheart." And once the inevitable flying monkeys come in screeching about family:
    via u/b3mark
  • 18
    "I am choosing family. Mine. Now kindly bugger off."
    via u/b3mark
  • 19
    Ready Willingness... • 3d ago I think I would do this: I would first speak with your parents and let them know where you're at with all this. Explain that you understand it's your sister's day and you don't want to cause any trouble, but this is a dilemma for you and you've
    via u/Ready Willingness
  • 20
    found a way through. Tell them how you're going to manage this. If you speak with them first it will be a lot harder for your sister to cause a family rift.
    via u/Ready Willingness
  • 21
    Then, tell your sister that you and Brad both understand that it's her day. and the venue is absolutely her call. Brad has offered to step aside and look after your daughter so that you can go. However, you feel uncomfortable taking him up on that offer and think it's best to not go.
    via u/Ready Willingness

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